Short Film Feedback

Not bad. I wanted to know more about the main character, like what led to what we saw at the beginning. Still, you held my attention which I admit is hard to do.
Some constructive criticism: work on lighting to get the look you want so you don't have to gain-up the camera or rescue shadow detail with processing. Lighting is one of the hardest things to do and many inexpensive cameras require tons of it. I just did a video that needed almost 3,000 Watts to sufficiently light a small living room! Your sound is also a bit on the hot side and the mic or mic placement you used isn't ideal. The overall mix is decent though.
Keep up with it man, you have promise.